Deck the Halls of Power
With BC's own political Christmas carols this season.
By Bill Tieleman
"Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip."
-Singer Gary Allan
-Singer Gary Allan
When Christmas carols meet B.C. politics 'tis the season to be a jolly old Grinch.
Here are a few songs you could hear around the Legislature this holiday season.
[To the tune of "Frosty the Snowman"]
Christy the Premier/Was a radio talk show soul,
With a giant smile that stretched a mile/And a very ambitious goal.
Christy the Premier is a fairy tale, they say,
She was made of fluff but she sure could bluff, so she came to power one day.
There must have been some magic/In that photo op they planned.
For when they turned the cameras on/She really did glad hand!
O, Christy the Premier/Said she'd beat the NDP
And the Liberals say/She'd campaign away
To keep power for them in B.C.
Thumpetty thump thump/Thumpetty thump thump,
Look at Christy spin!
Thumpetty thump thump/Thumpetty thump thump,
She really wants to win!
Christy the Premier/Knew
the polls were bad that day,
So she said, "A spring election we'll run/It'll be such fun
Now before I melt away." Down to the Caucus/With an election writ in hand!
Running here and there all/Around the Ledge saying:
"Elect me while you can!"
She led them down the streets of town/
Right to the Cabinet room. And she had to call it off when/She heard them holler "Stop!"
Then Christy the Premier/Had to hurry on her way, But she waved goodbye saying/"Don't you cry, I'll be back at 'NW some day."
Thumpetty thump thump/Thumpetty thump thump,
They made Christy go.
Thumpetty thump thump/Thumpetty thump thump,
Back to radio you know!
Away in the U.K.
[To the tune of "Away In A Manger"]
Away in the U.K./High Commissioner his role,
Premier Gordon Campbell/Rewarded for his toil.
The stars in London, England/ Shone ever so bright,
But Gordon was troubled/All through the night.
"It's really not fair," he said to himself,
The Order of B.C. is not on my shelf.
I wanted it, I craved it -- my friends made it so,
But to get it in hand, to Victoria I must go."
"It pains me to think of the reception I'd get,
When Dave Barrett hasn't even got an OBC yet!
Nor Vander Zalm, nor Harcourt -- still longer they wait,
But it's better to get it too early than late!"
[To the tune of "Deck The Halls"]
Wreck the Libs with Trasolini/
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
Christy thinks that Joe's a meany/Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
Joe once was a friend of Clark/Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
But now with Dix he'll make his mark/Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
That by-election in Port Moody/Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
Has made the premier very broody/Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
With one more in Chilliwack/Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
Liberals fear a heart attack/Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
[To the tune of "O Come, All Ye Faithful"]
O Cummins all ye faithful/Rightwing and triumphant,
O Cummins, O come ye to Victoria/Cummins, Christy scolds him:
"He'll split our Liberal vote!/Cummins, let's ignore him,
Cummins, we abhor him!O Cummins, don't vote for him
For Christy's sake!"
Right of centre/Conservative and Reform,
Lo! He relishes Liberal scorn!
Oh my god/A third party at last!
Best wishes to all readers for a happy and safe holiday season!
No 24 hours newspaper column next week but see you back here on December 27 for a very special Basi-Virk 8th year column for The Tyee and this blog.
Back in 24 hours on Tuesday January 3, 2012.
.
7 comments:
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to Bill, his family and all his faithful readers. As for the article, it is good to add a little humor at this time of the year. Thank you.
"Away in the U.K./High Commissioner his role,
Premier Gordon Campbell/Rewarded for his toil.
The stars in London, England/ Shone ever so bright,
But Gordon was troubled/All through the night.
"It's really not fair," he said to himself,
The Order of B.C. is not on my sh"
Looks like Bill has had one too many Tequilas, or most likely mixed margaritas and Tequias all in one go. Tsk Tsk Tsk..
Folks, this is what (turning back to Bill and the sad scene) what too much worshipping alcohol can do to ya. It's a pretty sad sight.
Bill should have kept to just Baby Duck wine.
Folks, if you're going to celebrate, celebrate responsibly.
Watch your drinking. You don't want to end up like that..
Thank goodnes you don't have audio, Bill!
Merry Xmas to all.
Laughed out loud! Good on you!
And best of the season to you!
Looking forward to your Basi-Virk year-ender, Bill.
I was just browsing through something I wrote almost a year ago, about the way the costs of BC Supreme Court Case #23299 had been calculated.
They threw in the costs of everything but the kitchen sink ... like trials with no connection to BC Rail ... would they have been hoping to discourage people from demanding a Public Inquiry?
And yet (even inflated) it comes in well below the costs associated with the Pickton Murder Trial, and the Air India Trial.
Plus: there's never, ever been a case more tightly tied in with the governing processes (good or bad) of the province we love. We need to see the facts, including the full story on the deal(s) the Campbell/Christy Government made.
What a New Year's gift that Public Inquiry will be, eh? ... a full Public Inquiry into how anybody (even with a 79 -2 legislative majority), could throw away a huge, gold-plated public asset like that.
Declare a Public Inquiry: that would be time to Deck the Halls!
Best wishes to you and your family for Christmas and the New Year. And to all your readers, too.
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To you and your family Bill. Have a wonderful x-mas.
I needed a good laugh and right on cue, you provided one.
Thanks a bunch for all your time and dedication, you give to the people of BC.
I needed a good laugh and right on cue, you provided one.
Thanks a bunch for all your time and dedication, you give to the people of BC.
That should be corrected to "the NDP People of BC". Bill certainly hasn't indicated any profound support for the right side of the equation (and never will), it is always for the left side of the equation (always will be).
As for needing a laugh, if people are going to laugh at Grade 10 level, then they have too much time on their hands.
Wonder what gems Bill would come up with after a year of an NDP goverment? Sticky sweet praise no doubt.
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